You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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