I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize