I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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