Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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