I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
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He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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