Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize