I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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