you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize