she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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