I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize