I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
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This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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