Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize