Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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