I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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