i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
MIDGETS
????
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize