Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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