We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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