We're facebook friends in real life
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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