Don't you send me to vm
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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