biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
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It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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