I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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