How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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