So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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