I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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