It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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