I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
And then he peed in my hair
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize