It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize