did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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