O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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