I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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