he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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