Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
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You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
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You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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