Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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