Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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