At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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