Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize