i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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