I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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