My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize