All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
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wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
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well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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