I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
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Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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