I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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