Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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