Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
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Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
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Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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