Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize