I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize