sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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