All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
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She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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