he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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