I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize